The Countdown to a New Normal

There are two weeks left, fourteen days until my family's life changes. Until we have to adjust to a new version of normal. Until I walk into room 417 and greet all 60 of my bright eyed nine and ten year olds. Until my days are broken down to the minute. Until there is study hall. Until there is lunch duty, tutoring, field trips, fire drills, HW, emails, report cards, 60 ipads, faulty Wifi...

I know I am called to teaching. I know I am "built" to serve others, to be a pleaser. A servant's heart is what I desire.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Phillipians 2:1-4

There are so many uncertainties and anxieties I have about returning to work. The baby is still not a champ at sleeping. On average, she wakes up at least twice between the hours of 10pm and 5am. That leaves me with about on average 5 hours of interrupted sleep. I function best on a good solid 8 hours. When I am tired I am cranky, irritable, emotional, impatient, and irrational. I do not want to be this when I go back to the J.O.B.

Instead I want to have the heart of a servant. When I see how Evie enjoys school and adores her teachers, I am incredibly thankful for all the people who pour out their hearts not only to my little girl, but to so many other boys and girls. When I see Evie's excitement, I am reminded that I too, have other people's children. I want to ignite a light in their eyes. I want them to have a love of school (as much as a 4th grader can)! This is a very serious responsibility to me. I hold very high expectations for myself. I want to "measure up" to the parents, to the children, to my principal, to my coworkers.

At the same time, I want to pour my heart into serving Jesus, into being the wife I need to be, into being the mommy I am called to be. I am completely overwhelmed with the expectations. I don't want to do a mediocre job on anything. Is there enough of me?

This is where I know that "I" can't do it all. I can't be the super hero Christian, wife, mom, and teacher. That's right, it's not ME giving myself the power to do stuff. Christ will empower me with the vision and stamina I will need. He will give me the focus. He will give me the comfort. He will give me the courage. He WILL! I must LISTEN and be FOCUSED on HIM to survive this new phase of my life. Will it be easy, no. Will it be hard, yes. Will I fall, yes. Will I get back up? YES!

Some days...

• I will cry for my life to slow down
• my alarm won't go off
• the dog will pee in the house
• the baby will be up all night
• Judd will work late
• both kids will be sick
• I'll forget my laptap at home
• my patience will be short
• my students will be wired with energy
• i'll have a difficult email
• baby will poop on me as I walk out the door
• and on and on and on....

Some days and hopefully most!
I will find the complete JOY that Jesus puts in my life. I will CHOOSE to see the grace and perseverance he is shaping inside and around my life. My heart will burst with gratitude for his loving kindness.

Give thanks in all circumstances. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Philipians 4:13